How To Gain and Use Leverage in Every Negotiation

Gaining leverage in a negotiation is one aspect that leads to winning a negotiation. The questions some negotiators ask are, how do I gain leverage in a negotiation, what’s the value of it, and how do I use it once I have it?

The following are ways to gain and use leverage in a negotiation.

  • Gaining leverage is the advantage you acquire in a negotiation as the result of an act you commit and/or position the other negotiator is in as the result of such action.
  • Understand what you did to obtain leverage (e.g. caught the opposing negotiator in an untruthful statement, which caused other positions of his to be called into question), when you have it, what you’ll do with it (e.g. as a strategy, cause him to defend a position that doesn’t serve him), and what you’ll do to regain it once you lose it (i.e. in a negotiation, leverage ebbs and flows based on the positional power of the negotiators).
  • Consider the person with whom you’re negotiating and what stimuli will influence him (e.g. will he move from pain to pleasure, or fight you harder if you back him into a corner).
  • Consider how you can impress and/or intimidate the other negotiator (i.e. in some cases opposing negotiators can share a common interest, which may serve one more than the other. The one to which more of a gain occurs is the one with more leverage).
  • To gain leverage, feed the ego when such is sought and/or required (i.e. feeding vanity can be a great source of motivation for the other negotiator to grant concessions at times. The reason being, she may want to appear to be magnanimous).
  • Be long term in thoughts and outcome
  • Shift the perspective to fit your reality and don’t worry if others don’t buy into it. If you’re strong and persistent enough, over time you’ll benefit from not backing down because even a lie can become the truth if it’s told enough and enough people begin to believe it (i.e. when seeking leverage, a statement said with assuredness can be more believable even if it’s false than a truthful sentiment stated with doubt).
  • Learn to be a good ‘spin master’ (i.e. cast your position/perspective from a point that best serves your purposes).
  • Go after things you engage in with the expectation that you’re doing whatever it will take to win (i.e. when positioning your perspective to gain leverage, remember to synchronize your body language (nonverbal gestures, etc.) with your verbiage.
  • Summarize people in negotiations with one word and/or in ways that position them in the way you wish them to be viewed by others (i.e. the light in which you display people to others can be the way they’re viewed. In a negotiation, to gain leverage, attempt to position the opposing negotiator in a light that’s less flattering per his position).
  • Control (anger, environment, other negotiator & yourself)
  • Think about where you come into a situation. That will determine your perspective of it. (In a negotiation, your perspective determines the actions you engage in. When seeking to gain leverage, consider how both you and the opposing negotiator views the perspective of why you’re negotiating and what you seek from it).

One of the most efficient ways to win more negotiations is to discover ways to gain and use leverage. Adopt the insights above and your negotiate win rate will increase… and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

A Grief and Loss Coach Speaks About Being in the Present

One of the most painful and fearful parts of grief is the first stage and that is being willing to come face to face with loss. It’s human nature for us to not be engaged in living our lives when we are heartbroken and afraid.

As painful as allowing yourself to actually be in the situation is, it is far more painful if you continue to suffer through pretending life is a different way that what it actually is.
Below are 4 tips on how to actually move into the present or as I refer to it, the “here and now”.

1) Stay connected to living your own life
When you focus daily on living a quality life with mind, body and spirituality balanced and in alignment, and you suffer a loss, you then have multiple areas of support to pull from. Stay connected to who you are. Don’t depend on others for your happiness. This will serve you well both in times of joy and loss.

2) Being in denial is OK for a short period of time.
Denial or victim mode basically sends out the message to the outside world, ” Don’t bother me, or ask anything of me, feel sorry for me because I am wounded right now”. This is an important part of our self-survival mode. It is a protection for us while we come to grips with the sorrow and fear we may be trying to face. It is only when we cling to this stage that it becomes non-serving. Grant yourself permission to feel like a victim, knowing that by allowing these feelings you are taking away the power of being victimized.

3) One good feeling is all it takes.
It’s difficult facing a loss so instead of trying to force yourself to deal, trying this gentler version; find a happy thought about the person or part of your life you lost and focus on it. Shifting from a negative thought pattern to a positive one allows you to release resistance and open a space to slowly begin to come into the present. You come into the moment feeling full of life rather than empty and hollow.

4) Trust and reach for the guidance from within
Loss is a very humbling experience. It brings us to the focus of how very fragile life, as we know it is. Reaching within for relief is not about having the answers but rather knowing somehow, someway the answers will come. Asking for guidance is simply saying, “Please send guidance my way”, and then trusting it is on the way.

These 4 simple steps give you the act of willingness and the act of willingness creates movement. Movement is the constant in our life that allows us to achieve happiness and success on level we choose.

Jennifer Shaw, the compassionate Grief and Loss coach, eliminates her client’s deep emotional pain, helping them breakthrough through their fears of the unknown, and leading them to step confidently into a life of happiness and success. Jennifer gets to the heart of the matter utilizing her unique HEAL® Process, which combines the ability to ‘fine tune’ and create a custom plan for groups or individuals that delivers the results they desire leading them to achieve their ultimate goals and live a life of true purpose.

Don’t Forget This on Your Next Trip – Tips For Traveling Trainers, Speakers and Presenters

Several years ago, I watched Teresa, a director at a large company, begin to give a speech. Her career was on the fast track. She was making a key presentation at an executive retreat. This was a make or break moment for her.

But, her Power Point presentation would not work. As she stood there in front of her company’s senior management, she tried rebooting her laptop, changing projectors and fiddling with the laptop display settings. Finally, she discovered the root of the problem: the battery on her wireless mouse was dead.

So, 10 minutes after her scheduled start time, she began her presentation using a regular computer mouse. By this time, the damage was done to her career.

What’s the morale of this story? Avoid embarrassing yourself and hurting your career by forgetting key items for your next presentation.

You have enough anxiety about public speaking without letting travel problems sabotage your presentation. Here are five simple tips to help you prepare.

  1. Test all of your equipment ahead of time. Bring spare batteries for every one of your electronic devices. Also, prepare a backup plan in case of equipment failure.
  2. Load a backup copy of your presentation and handouts onto a CD-ROM or USB flash drive. Then pack it in a piece of luggage other than your laptop case. That way, if you laptop is lost, stolen or crashes, you can load your backup copy onto a rented or borrowed laptop at your destination.
  3. Print maps or driving instructions to your destination. That makes it easy for you to find your off site meeting location or executive retreat. Also, always plan to arrive early at your destination. While an attendee can be late and not derail the presentation, if the speaker is late everyone is kept waiting.
  4. Inspect the meeting room or trade show floor the night before to get a look at the room layout and the sight lines for your Power Point projector, overheads or flip charts. I learned this lesson the hard way when I failed to look at the room ahead of time a few years ago. When I arrived to do my seminar, there was a huge pillar right in the middle of the room that blocked the view of one-third of my class. I had to hastily re-arrange the tables and chairs so everyone could see the screen.
  5. Make sure people can find your room. Check the hotel’s signage to see it is easy for attendees to find your meeting room. If not, use masking tape to place signs or arrows leading to your classroom (with the hotel’s permission, of course.) Remember, leave a trail of breadcrumbs so people can find your room.

Use these tips to prepare for a successful presentation at your next off site meeting, conference or trade show.

© 2008 Reflective Keynotes Inc., Toronto, Canada