Is Marriage Obsolete In Present Days?

It is not unusual to see couples living together without entering into wedlock these days. Would that mean the magic of the sacred union is a thing of the past and the institution of marriage has become obsolete?

Today it is considered as perfectly normal if we live together with our loved one without being married and many couples prefer this situation to the wedding bells. According to recent studies, marriage has been replaced by cohabitation and is often considered as a relic from the past. People are getting married less and less and the concept of cohabitation is gaining more and more popularity.

Many people support the statement “We love each other so what is the difference whether we are married or not?”. Many people claim that they feel comfortable living like that but are they sincere or just afraid to confess what they truly feel and desire? Maybe they are pressed by the circumstances or maybe they are just afraid to commit themselves to their loved ones. People are apprehensive of “the bonds of marriage” and fear they will lose their independence. Life presents us many surprises and we can never be sure whether our partner will not change with time.

That is why young people today choose to live together without formalities. According to them, what is important is love, not the marriage document. Also, many couples decide to have children at more mature age as they have a more sustainable financial independence, so many declare that “There is still time to get married.” But time passes and it is not uncommon that the couple decides to undertake this step when the girl gets pregnant. And then, the excessive waiting for the right time leads to an even more inappropriate time. Then, the new family will have to face the future with even more costs because a wedding and a baby at the same time could present a lot of additional expenses. So instead of enjoying the most important day of their lives, the wedding becomes a burden.

People that have chosen marriage demonstrate integrity and strength of their relationship. The bottom line is that marriage has always been about bringing two people together and showing to the world that they care deeply for one another. As long as two people know each other and get along well, have lived together for some time and then got married, the union can prove strong for many years and they can remain in love without having to worry about the hardships of separation.

How To Gain and Use Leverage in Every Negotiation

Gaining leverage in a negotiation is one aspect that leads to winning a negotiation. The questions some negotiators ask are, how do I gain leverage in a negotiation, what’s the value of it, and how do I use it once I have it?

The following are ways to gain and use leverage in a negotiation.

  • Gaining leverage is the advantage you acquire in a negotiation as the result of an act you commit and/or position the other negotiator is in as the result of such action.
  • Understand what you did to obtain leverage (e.g. caught the opposing negotiator in an untruthful statement, which caused other positions of his to be called into question), when you have it, what you’ll do with it (e.g. as a strategy, cause him to defend a position that doesn’t serve him), and what you’ll do to regain it once you lose it (i.e. in a negotiation, leverage ebbs and flows based on the positional power of the negotiators).
  • Consider the person with whom you’re negotiating and what stimuli will influence him (e.g. will he move from pain to pleasure, or fight you harder if you back him into a corner).
  • Consider how you can impress and/or intimidate the other negotiator (i.e. in some cases opposing negotiators can share a common interest, which may serve one more than the other. The one to which more of a gain occurs is the one with more leverage).
  • To gain leverage, feed the ego when such is sought and/or required (i.e. feeding vanity can be a great source of motivation for the other negotiator to grant concessions at times. The reason being, she may want to appear to be magnanimous).
  • Be long term in thoughts and outcome
  • Shift the perspective to fit your reality and don’t worry if others don’t buy into it. If you’re strong and persistent enough, over time you’ll benefit from not backing down because even a lie can become the truth if it’s told enough and enough people begin to believe it (i.e. when seeking leverage, a statement said with assuredness can be more believable even if it’s false than a truthful sentiment stated with doubt).
  • Learn to be a good ‘spin master’ (i.e. cast your position/perspective from a point that best serves your purposes).
  • Go after things you engage in with the expectation that you’re doing whatever it will take to win (i.e. when positioning your perspective to gain leverage, remember to synchronize your body language (nonverbal gestures, etc.) with your verbiage.
  • Summarize people in negotiations with one word and/or in ways that position them in the way you wish them to be viewed by others (i.e. the light in which you display people to others can be the way they’re viewed. In a negotiation, to gain leverage, attempt to position the opposing negotiator in a light that’s less flattering per his position).
  • Control (anger, environment, other negotiator & yourself)
  • Think about where you come into a situation. That will determine your perspective of it. (In a negotiation, your perspective determines the actions you engage in. When seeking to gain leverage, consider how both you and the opposing negotiator views the perspective of why you’re negotiating and what you seek from it).

One of the most efficient ways to win more negotiations is to discover ways to gain and use leverage. Adopt the insights above and your negotiate win rate will increase… and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

Why Is a Puppy a Bad Christmas Present?

Even though it is the stuff that makes us tear up in movies and television shows, giving a puppy as a Christmas present is rarely a good idea. Despite all of your best intentions, adding a furry family member needs very careful consideration.

The holidays are a stressful time for most people. There is a ton of hustle and bustle about the home every day. There may be family traveling in, or you may need to travel to them. There are presents to wrap and food to cook. Now, add an 8 week old puppy to the mix and someone is going to howl for sure!

Having a new puppy is, well, expensive. There are the costs of acquiring the puppy, plus all the “must-haves” that need to be purchased. There are the expenses for Veterinary care and puppy-proofing the home. Not too mention, replacing anything that little Marmaduke happens to chew on with those baby teeth. Christmas is probably not the best time of year to add on a list of expenses.

Then, there is the little-known issue of whether or not the puppy will be healthy. See, most reputable breeders actually will refuse to sell puppies at Christmas, for fear they will not be accepted or cared for properly. Or, the fact that someone may end up allergic and that would break everyone’s heart. Unfortunately, puppy mills breed their dogs to make money around the holidays. It seems that pet stores make a lot of money and most of it is off of puppies bred solely for profit. The saddest part here is that many are in-bred and come to their new homes with genetic defects, illnesses and many other ailments. And, way too many times, they end up at shelters.

So, before purchasing a puppy as a gift this Christmas here are some ideas that should help:

  • Check with your local shelter about a gift certificate-then, go AFTER the holidays are over.
  • Buy a few books on dogs—fun and interesting for the children to read. This way, they can learn about how to raise a puppy and get ready for the big day.
  • Pet-sit for a day. Borrow a friend’s dog for the day. This will allow the children to have all the fun of playing with a friendly dog, but not necessarily the hard work of it all. Just be sure the dog is kid-friendly
  • Plan for the puppy. Make a calendar of when you plan to go look at puppies. Discuss shelters vs. breeders with the family. Figure out where he or she will sleep, what they will eat, etc. Make it a family affair!
  • Visit your local Veterinarian. Get to know the doctor who will be taking care of your pet. This way, the children get to ask questions, maybe even see some animals, and the whole family is comfortable with their puppy’s new doctor.

These are just some basic ideas. Try to remember that bringing home a pet is almost as important as bringing home a baby. With children, we get 9 months or so to prepare. For your new puppy, at least take a month or two to prepare. In the long run, your holidays will go smoother and everyone will end up with a family member that is loved and cherished for many Christmas’ to come.