A Grief and Loss Coach Speaks About Being in the Present

One of the most painful and fearful parts of grief is the first stage and that is being willing to come face to face with loss. It’s human nature for us to not be engaged in living our lives when we are heartbroken and afraid.

As painful as allowing yourself to actually be in the situation is, it is far more painful if you continue to suffer through pretending life is a different way that what it actually is.
Below are 4 tips on how to actually move into the present or as I refer to it, the “here and now”.

1) Stay connected to living your own life
When you focus daily on living a quality life with mind, body and spirituality balanced and in alignment, and you suffer a loss, you then have multiple areas of support to pull from. Stay connected to who you are. Don’t depend on others for your happiness. This will serve you well both in times of joy and loss.

2) Being in denial is OK for a short period of time.
Denial or victim mode basically sends out the message to the outside world, ” Don’t bother me, or ask anything of me, feel sorry for me because I am wounded right now”. This is an important part of our self-survival mode. It is a protection for us while we come to grips with the sorrow and fear we may be trying to face. It is only when we cling to this stage that it becomes non-serving. Grant yourself permission to feel like a victim, knowing that by allowing these feelings you are taking away the power of being victimized.

3) One good feeling is all it takes.
It’s difficult facing a loss so instead of trying to force yourself to deal, trying this gentler version; find a happy thought about the person or part of your life you lost and focus on it. Shifting from a negative thought pattern to a positive one allows you to release resistance and open a space to slowly begin to come into the present. You come into the moment feeling full of life rather than empty and hollow.

4) Trust and reach for the guidance from within
Loss is a very humbling experience. It brings us to the focus of how very fragile life, as we know it is. Reaching within for relief is not about having the answers but rather knowing somehow, someway the answers will come. Asking for guidance is simply saying, “Please send guidance my way”, and then trusting it is on the way.

These 4 simple steps give you the act of willingness and the act of willingness creates movement. Movement is the constant in our life that allows us to achieve happiness and success on level we choose.

Jennifer Shaw, the compassionate Grief and Loss coach, eliminates her client’s deep emotional pain, helping them breakthrough through their fears of the unknown, and leading them to step confidently into a life of happiness and success. Jennifer gets to the heart of the matter utilizing her unique HEAL® Process, which combines the ability to ‘fine tune’ and create a custom plan for groups or individuals that delivers the results they desire leading them to achieve their ultimate goals and live a life of true purpose.

How to Design an English Presentation

How to Design Your English Presentation

Part of any Business English Course that deals with presentations will look at how to design or develop your presentation. How do you start? What do you put into it? In a Business English course this is the method or process that I would advise my students to use when developing their presentation. The method that I suggest using is to start at the result that you want at the end of your presentation and work your way backwards to the introduction. This should help you to develop a concise and effective presentation that does not contain unnecessary information. This is not a new idea, but it is one that I taught my students before actually finding it in an English presentations text.

What result do you want from your Presentation?

At the same time as you decide on the result you want you should also decide on who your audience will be and what to write for them. As well, decide what you want them to know or do after participating in your presentation. After this start with what is the end result you want from your presentation. Is it just an information presentation where you want to impart data or knowledge, do you want them to make a particular decision, or do you want them to make a purchase from you. There are other results you may want, so start with the end result that you want from your presentation. As I mentioned and as you probably noticed we will be working backwards in designing the English presentation.

Key Points for Your Presentation Result

When you have determined the result that you want you then need to think about what are the 3 or 4 key things you want them to know or think about in order to get the result. The key points should come easily after you know what you want to happen after the end of the presentation. These will be the points you bring up in your summary so that they are fresh in the minds of your audience. By doing this you will limit the amount of information that you will need to add into the presentation. You don’t want to use the shotgun approach when designing an English presentation.

Information needed to Support Your Presentation’s Key Points?

After you have decided on the key point that you need it will be easy to decide or determine what information or data you need to support these key points. Because you know the data that you need to include, you will not need to include excess information, thereby shortening your presentation and making it more concise.

The Finish of Your Freshly Designed Presentation

You have designed most of your English presentation by deciding on your conclusion or result, determining your key points, and adding information to support your key points. Now you only need to work on the introduction to your presentation. You know the end result or conclusion, you have your key points, and your presentation now contains the data or information needed to support the key points. So you can use these to write your Outline and Introduction, which should now be a ‘piece of cake’ (easy).

I would advocate using the process outlined above because it should make designing your presentation easier. It may seem to be against common sense by starting at the end and working your way to the beginning, but the end result will be a more focused English presentation which gets to the point without all the fluffy padding. It will be less boring, and it will contain less useless information. I hope you enjoyed this brief look at how to design an English presentation.

Is Marriage Obsolete In Present Days?

It is not unusual to see couples living together without entering into wedlock these days. Would that mean the magic of the sacred union is a thing of the past and the institution of marriage has become obsolete?

Today it is considered as perfectly normal if we live together with our loved one without being married and many couples prefer this situation to the wedding bells. According to recent studies, marriage has been replaced by cohabitation and is often considered as a relic from the past. People are getting married less and less and the concept of cohabitation is gaining more and more popularity.

Many people support the statement “We love each other so what is the difference whether we are married or not?”. Many people claim that they feel comfortable living like that but are they sincere or just afraid to confess what they truly feel and desire? Maybe they are pressed by the circumstances or maybe they are just afraid to commit themselves to their loved ones. People are apprehensive of “the bonds of marriage” and fear they will lose their independence. Life presents us many surprises and we can never be sure whether our partner will not change with time.

That is why young people today choose to live together without formalities. According to them, what is important is love, not the marriage document. Also, many couples decide to have children at more mature age as they have a more sustainable financial independence, so many declare that “There is still time to get married.” But time passes and it is not uncommon that the couple decides to undertake this step when the girl gets pregnant. And then, the excessive waiting for the right time leads to an even more inappropriate time. Then, the new family will have to face the future with even more costs because a wedding and a baby at the same time could present a lot of additional expenses. So instead of enjoying the most important day of their lives, the wedding becomes a burden.

People that have chosen marriage demonstrate integrity and strength of their relationship. The bottom line is that marriage has always been about bringing two people together and showing to the world that they care deeply for one another. As long as two people know each other and get along well, have lived together for some time and then got married, the union can prove strong for many years and they can remain in love without having to worry about the hardships of separation.