One of the most painful and fearful parts of grief is the first stage and that is being willing to come face to face with loss. It’s human nature for us to not be engaged in living our lives when we are heartbroken and afraid.
As painful as allowing yourself to actually be in the situation is, it is far more painful if you continue to suffer through pretending life is a different way that what it actually is.
Below are 4 tips on how to actually move into the present or as I refer to it, the “here and now”.
1) Stay connected to living your own life
When you focus daily on living a quality life with mind, body and spirituality balanced and in alignment, and you suffer a loss, you then have multiple areas of support to pull from. Stay connected to who you are. Don’t depend on others for your happiness. This will serve you well both in times of joy and loss.
2) Being in denial is OK for a short period of time.
Denial or victim mode basically sends out the message to the outside world, ” Don’t bother me, or ask anything of me, feel sorry for me because I am wounded right now”. This is an important part of our self-survival mode. It is a protection for us while we come to grips with the sorrow and fear we may be trying to face. It is only when we cling to this stage that it becomes non-serving. Grant yourself permission to feel like a victim, knowing that by allowing these feelings you are taking away the power of being victimized.
3) One good feeling is all it takes.
It’s difficult facing a loss so instead of trying to force yourself to deal, trying this gentler version; find a happy thought about the person or part of your life you lost and focus on it. Shifting from a negative thought pattern to a positive one allows you to release resistance and open a space to slowly begin to come into the present. You come into the moment feeling full of life rather than empty and hollow.
4) Trust and reach for the guidance from within
Loss is a very humbling experience. It brings us to the focus of how very fragile life, as we know it is. Reaching within for relief is not about having the answers but rather knowing somehow, someway the answers will come. Asking for guidance is simply saying, “Please send guidance my way”, and then trusting it is on the way.
These 4 simple steps give you the act of willingness and the act of willingness creates movement. Movement is the constant in our life that allows us to achieve happiness and success on level we choose.
Jennifer Shaw, the compassionate Grief and Loss coach, eliminates her client’s deep emotional pain, helping them breakthrough through their fears of the unknown, and leading them to step confidently into a life of happiness and success. Jennifer gets to the heart of the matter utilizing her unique HEAL® Process, which combines the ability to ‘fine tune’ and create a custom plan for groups or individuals that delivers the results they desire leading them to achieve their ultimate goals and live a life of true purpose.